It's Been A Year

We were in Bologna.
Not for holiday.
My brother was lying down, in pain, after his brain surgery.
While us, we just lost our baby a month ago.

I remember exactly what i felt at that moment.
Confused.
Scared.
In Pain.

Trying to make sense of things. Analyzing my past, searching for an unconfessed sin or sins. Trying to understand the God i knew. Trying to make sense His Love.

I failed. I failed to see that He is a loving God. What i knew then was that He is punishing me for something. That what's hurt most. Everything i learnt for half of my age destroyed. I was loosing my faith. And along with it i was loosing my reason to live.

But how many of us know that God is a God who is a present help? He acted right away. One sunday morning, God lead us to turn on TV -something we rarely do - and there was this preacher named Joseph Prince who talk about God's Grace. Who is this funny-looking-haircut-guy with a singlish accent? And what was he talking about? Did he really believe that God is loving us?

I was almost laughing at him. What about God's grace? I've been following Christ for 15 years and look where i am right now. But once Prince explained the message from the scriptures Rome 8:1 "There is now no condemnation for whoever in Christ" my heart leaped.

There is NOW no condemnation for me, because i'm in Christ.

God didn't want me to think wrong of Him. God wouldn't let me think that He is still punishing me. The punishments for all my sins has already been taken care 2000 years ago in the cross of Jesus Christ. What's left for me is His love and favour.

Thank God for His Grace. Thank God for grace preachers who speaks about God's radical grace.
I was a long-time-christian, but was never felt this free before.

Right after we came back to Paris up till now in Jakarta, I still continue listening to ps Prince's sermons. It's not about the preacher, but it's about the message he brings. All his messages point directly to Jesus and the cross. I've heard many good messages from various preacher before, but rarely i had the urge to listen their preaching twice or more. But i could listen and listen to Prince's message over and over again. The difference is because everytime i heard his message, i heard about Jesus. And it refreshes my soul and renew my mind.

Thankyou Father God, for Your present help a year ago.