Have you ever felt so desperate in searching for the answers.
That you've prayed, but God seems nowhere to be found?
At the point you looked at the internet, the google website, and typed your question there?
Wishing God would answer you with some kind of google's list?
I did.
LOL.
Tuesday 27 January 2009
Saturday 24 January 2009
Five
Five years of ultimate joy and happines.
Five years of sharing my life with the smartest, funniest, most perceptive, and wisest person.
Five years of laughing out loud.
Five years of understanding His Grace in our lives.
Five years of finnaly seeing His Truth.
Five years of living each and every day enjoying His presence among us.
Five blessed years.
Thankyou and Praise be to You our Lord and Saviour.
Five years of sharing my life with the smartest, funniest, most perceptive, and wisest person.
Five years of laughing out loud.
Five years of understanding His Grace in our lives.
Five years of finnaly seeing His Truth.
Five years of living each and every day enjoying His presence among us.
Five blessed years.
Thankyou and Praise be to You our Lord and Saviour.
Friday 23 January 2009
The Battle
Matthew 21:22
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Mark 11:24
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours"
It's the battle that we're in right now.
I don't know why but my heart keeps urging me to pray for THIS one.
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Mark 11:24
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours"
It's the battle that we're in right now.
I don't know why but my heart keeps urging me to pray for THIS one.
Wednesday 21 January 2009
FORGIVEN
This week has been a tough one. I received many hurtful statements from friends eventhough maybe they didn't really mean it.
Usually, my reaction when somebody hurt my feelings is angry. And then i realized that as a Christian i shouldn't be angry, i should've forgiven them. But most of the time i couldn't. It's not easy to forgive when you're angry. Knowing that i should, but i couldn't, brings a feeling of condemnation in my heart. I'm afraid God's angry of me failing to forgive. Then i'd be more upset, and angrier, because i think those people made me sin, thus made God angry at me.
Today i practice a new thing. Whenever i remember their hurtful statements or whatever, i said to myself, "I am forgiven". I keep saying that to myself over and over again. I don't bother whether i should or couldn't forgive them, i just wanted to remind myself that in Christ, i am indeed forgiven.
Whenever the devil tried to trick me with his lies, such as "They said that to hurt your feeling, and bla bla ..." I screamed in my heart, "I AM FORGIVEN". The devil can not use his utmost condemnation to me, "God is upset with you rigth now". The blood of Jesus destroyed every weapons the devil has. He couldn't attack my relationship with God. In Christ i'm at peace with Father God.
Because I am Forgiven.
Each time i repeat the sentence to myself, the anger melts.
I am forgiven.
Usually, everytime i feel this way i would refuse to pray and went to bed right away without praying. Afraid of God's judgement.
Right now, i rushed into Him and read His word. I pour down everything i felt inside through prayers. Without guilt. Without hesitation.
I am forgiven.
Usually, my reaction when somebody hurt my feelings is angry. And then i realized that as a Christian i shouldn't be angry, i should've forgiven them. But most of the time i couldn't. It's not easy to forgive when you're angry. Knowing that i should, but i couldn't, brings a feeling of condemnation in my heart. I'm afraid God's angry of me failing to forgive. Then i'd be more upset, and angrier, because i think those people made me sin, thus made God angry at me.
Today i practice a new thing. Whenever i remember their hurtful statements or whatever, i said to myself, "I am forgiven". I keep saying that to myself over and over again. I don't bother whether i should or couldn't forgive them, i just wanted to remind myself that in Christ, i am indeed forgiven.
Whenever the devil tried to trick me with his lies, such as "They said that to hurt your feeling, and bla bla ..." I screamed in my heart, "I AM FORGIVEN". The devil can not use his utmost condemnation to me, "God is upset with you rigth now". The blood of Jesus destroyed every weapons the devil has. He couldn't attack my relationship with God. In Christ i'm at peace with Father God.
Because I am Forgiven.
Each time i repeat the sentence to myself, the anger melts.
I am forgiven.
Usually, everytime i feel this way i would refuse to pray and went to bed right away without praying. Afraid of God's judgement.
Right now, i rushed into Him and read His word. I pour down everything i felt inside through prayers. Without guilt. Without hesitation.
I am forgiven.
Sunday 4 January 2009
Psalms 91
There were moments when i read psalms and all the verses about how beautiful the promises of the Lord for His people, i didn't feel that those verses are written for me. I was so captured by the teachings about how to interpret the bible within context, the writer's background, the history of israel etc that i forget to identified myself into those verses. I thought, well, these were written by David, it's for him at particular condition and time, not for me. He's a King, a beloved man of God. Who am i to deserve all those promises?
But now i read psalms 91, and i believe, these are the promises that go for me too.
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling-- even the Lord, who is my refuge--
10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
Not because of my own righteousness nor my might, but because of Jesus who qualifies me to receive all the promises of God for His people.
It's a new way of experiencing Psalms when i put my Jesus in front of me while i read.
But now i read psalms 91, and i believe, these are the promises that go for me too.
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling-- even the Lord, who is my refuge--
10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
Not because of my own righteousness nor my might, but because of Jesus who qualifies me to receive all the promises of God for His people.
For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. (2 Corinthians 1:20)
It's a new way of experiencing Psalms when i put my Jesus in front of me while i read.
Saturday 3 January 2009
Perjanjian Baru
Bagian FT yang sering kelewat, ngerenungin makna "barunya" dan "bedanya" perjanjian Baru (new covenant) yang Tuhan buat dibandingkan dengan perjanjian lama sebelumnya.
Ibrani 10:15-18
Dan tentang hal itu Roh Kudus juga memberi kesaksian kepada kita, sebab setelah Ia berfirman: "Inilah perjanjian yang akan Kuadakan dengan mereka sesudah waktu itu,"
Ia berfirman pula: "Aku akan menaruh hukum-Ku di dalam hati mereka dan menuliskannya dalam akal budi mereka, dan Aku tidak lagi mengingat dosa-dosa dan kesalahan mereka."
Jadi apabila untuk semuanya itu ada pengampunan, tidak perlu lagi dipersembahkan korban karena dosa.
Ayat ini mengandung kutipan dari perjanjian lama dalam Yeremia 31:29
Pada waktu itu orang tidak akan berkata lagi:
Ayah-ayah makan buat mentah, dan gigi anak-anaknya menjadi ngilu, melainkan: Setiap orang akan mati karena kesalahannya sendiri; setiap manuisa yang makan buat mentah, giginya sendiri menjadi ngilu.
Sesungguhnya akan adatang waktunya, demikianlah firman Tuhan, Aku akan mengadakan perjanjian baru dengan kaum Israel dan kaum Yehuda, bukan seperti perjanjian yang telah Kuadakan dengan nenek moyang mereka pada waktu Aku memegang tangan mereka untuk membawa mereka keluar dari tanah Mesir; perjanjian-Ku itu telah mereka ingkari meskipun Aku menjadi tuan yang berkuasa atas mereka, demikianlah firman TUHAN. Tetapi beginilah perjanjian yang Kuadakan dengan kaum Israel sesudah waktu itu, demikianlah firman TUHAN: Aku akan menaruh Taurat-Ku dalam batin mereka dan menuliskannya dalam hati mereka; maka Aku akan menjadi Allah mereka dan mereka akan menjadi umat-Ku. Dan tidak usah lagi orang mengajar sesamanya atau mengajar saudaranya dengan mengatakan: Kenalah TUHAN! Sebab mereka semua, besar kecil, akan mengenal Aku, demikianlah firman TUHAN, sebab Aku akan mengampuni kesalahan mereka dan tidak lagi mengingat dosa mereka."
Ibrani 10:15-18
Dan tentang hal itu Roh Kudus juga memberi kesaksian kepada kita, sebab setelah Ia berfirman: "Inilah perjanjian yang akan Kuadakan dengan mereka sesudah waktu itu,"
Ia berfirman pula: "Aku akan menaruh hukum-Ku di dalam hati mereka dan menuliskannya dalam akal budi mereka, dan Aku tidak lagi mengingat dosa-dosa dan kesalahan mereka."
Jadi apabila untuk semuanya itu ada pengampunan, tidak perlu lagi dipersembahkan korban karena dosa.
Ayat ini mengandung kutipan dari perjanjian lama dalam Yeremia 31:29
Pada waktu itu orang tidak akan berkata lagi:
Ayah-ayah makan buat mentah, dan gigi anak-anaknya menjadi ngilu, melainkan: Setiap orang akan mati karena kesalahannya sendiri; setiap manuisa yang makan buat mentah, giginya sendiri menjadi ngilu.
Sesungguhnya akan adatang waktunya, demikianlah firman Tuhan, Aku akan mengadakan perjanjian baru dengan kaum Israel dan kaum Yehuda, bukan seperti perjanjian yang telah Kuadakan dengan nenek moyang mereka pada waktu Aku memegang tangan mereka untuk membawa mereka keluar dari tanah Mesir; perjanjian-Ku itu telah mereka ingkari meskipun Aku menjadi tuan yang berkuasa atas mereka, demikianlah firman TUHAN. Tetapi beginilah perjanjian yang Kuadakan dengan kaum Israel sesudah waktu itu, demikianlah firman TUHAN: Aku akan menaruh Taurat-Ku dalam batin mereka dan menuliskannya dalam hati mereka; maka Aku akan menjadi Allah mereka dan mereka akan menjadi umat-Ku. Dan tidak usah lagi orang mengajar sesamanya atau mengajar saudaranya dengan mengatakan: Kenalah TUHAN! Sebab mereka semua, besar kecil, akan mengenal Aku, demikianlah firman TUHAN, sebab Aku akan mengampuni kesalahan mereka dan tidak lagi mengingat dosa mereka."
Dalam perjanjian baru yang Tuhan adakan (dan initiate) dengan manusia, Dia berjanji gak akan menuntut balas dosa ayah ke anaknya (batalnya kutuk generasi), Tuhan akan mengampuni bahkan tidak akan mengingat dosa-dosa manusia (pengampunan terhadap dosa-dosa kita yang dulu, sekarang, ke depan), dan akan memulihkan kondisi hati nurani kita sehingga sesuai dengan hukum-hukum Tuhan. Semua itu diperoleh lewat pengorbanan Kristus di kayu salib, yang menjadi kutuk dan dosa sebagai ganti kita.
Akhirnya, damai sejahtera dengan Tuhan kita peroleh melalui Kristus dengan adanya perjanjian baru ini.
Friday 2 January 2009
The Year of the Lord's Favor
Luke 4:14-19
14 Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. 15 He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him. 16 He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. 17 The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written: 18 "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."
I found John Gill's Exposition in http://www.studytoolsbible.com/ is very encouraging.
To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.
The time which he willed and fixed for the redemption of his people, and in which he showed his goodwill and pleasure unto sinful men, in the gift of his Son to them, and for them; and which, as the Arabic and Syriac versions render it, was a time "acceptable to the Lord": the sufferings of Christ were according to his will; his sacrifice was of a sweet smelling savour to him; his righteousness he was well pleased with; and the satisfaction and atonement for sin he made was a plenary and complete one: all Christ did, and suffered, were grateful to God, because hereby his perfections were glorified, his purposes, counsel, and covenant were accomplished, and his people saved. The Persic version renders it, "to preach the law acceptable to God", neither agreeable to the original text, nor its sense; for Christ was sent to preach the Gospel, and not the law.
14 Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. 15 He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him. 16 He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. 17 The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written: 18 "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."
I found John Gill's Exposition in http://www.studytoolsbible.com/ is very encouraging.
To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.
The time which he willed and fixed for the redemption of his people, and in which he showed his goodwill and pleasure unto sinful men, in the gift of his Son to them, and for them; and which, as the Arabic and Syriac versions render it, was a time "acceptable to the Lord": the sufferings of Christ were according to his will; his sacrifice was of a sweet smelling savour to him; his righteousness he was well pleased with; and the satisfaction and atonement for sin he made was a plenary and complete one: all Christ did, and suffered, were grateful to God, because hereby his perfections were glorified, his purposes, counsel, and covenant were accomplished, and his people saved. The Persic version renders it, "to preach the law acceptable to God", neither agreeable to the original text, nor its sense; for Christ was sent to preach the Gospel, and not the law.
Thursday 1 January 2009
The Knowing of Him
When i first met Jesus in my teenage, i was like a burning fire. I was thirsty with the Word, i was eagerly serving Him, i was letting go all fears and burdens. I was like a prisoner given a pass to freedom. A sinner saved by Grace. Redeemed and loved by the Almighty Himselves.
But i also remember that i still sensed a burden of displeasing the Lord each time i did something wrong. Many times i woke up after midnight, rushed to open my bible to read yesterday's passage because i was afraid that i will be punished of not reading the bible routinely. I still believe that the salvation is forever mine through Jesus's blood, but He would still punish me for each of my wrongdoings.
Years after that, i found myself still serving Him, still enjoying the relationship with the Creator, and within myself, but inside me, i developed a sense of pride. Like what Paul's said in Phil 3:5
4 though I myself have reasons for such confidence. If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.
My version would be: I received Jesus since very young, i never touched dirty stuffs, i was a virgin when i married, i brought people to Jesus since Highschool, i served the Lord throughout my college years. I arranged many revivals, i became a leader in my faculty, i knew this i knew that... and blablablah... I was proud for what i consider my righteousness. My obidience. My works. My faultless past and youth.
I never regretted those years of my life, it was definitely good times. But the thing is, i stole much of the glory that belongs to Jesus as my own glory and achievement. The focus was on "me doing right things for the Lord" instead of focusing on "what Jesus done for me" brought me into a new state of my life. At the time when our prayer for a child has not been answered, i felt bitter. I was mad. I was confused.
I tought i did all what's right. I don't know what held those blessings from my life? I keep repeating the question, "Why God? Why after all these times i served You?. Didn't You remember that?".
I began to think that i had a sin or did something so bad that must be punished by God. I still believed strongly that i'm saved, but the punishment for my sin is still on. Especially when i get intouch to the teachings about curse, deliverance, generational curse etc. My fear went to the rooftop. Is it because of my sins? Or my parent's sins? Or my grand grand grand parent's? But if there were such things, why couldn't God protect me from all that? Is He the one who has all the power? I found myself more aware of sins and devil's power than Christ's finished work at the cross.
Then i miscarriaged our baby, the days after the event, i went living my life as a convicted person. He's gotta be punishing me for something or else i wouldn't be going through this thing. How could it be? A person who know Jesus, serves Him throughout her life feels like living in a constant torment of punishment from God?
How foolish i was!!!
After all these times studying bible, serving Him and knowing Him, i was failed to understand the basic Truth.
Christ has been my redeemer, and i'm saved forever. Christ has bore ALL my sins on the cross so that i'm free from every punishment of my sin. My past and future sins are FORGIVEN forever by His death on the cross, and His ressurection bring my everlasting RIGTEOUSNESS in front of our Heavenly Father. It's not by what i've done, it's what His Done.
So what was that about me did something wrong and God would punish me? If i claim that as a truth, that i'd say the blood of Christ was NOT ENOUGH to redeemed me. I knew Jesus is the beloved Son of God, and His death on the cross was so highly praised by God. And the reason that He gave His only Son is because He so loved me (John 3:16).
The cross of Jesus brings no condemnation for me (Romans 6:1). Whatever i did wrong, all has been paid, even overpaid by Christ on the cross. Since i've been redeemed, forgiven, justified by my faith through Christ Jesus that means i have peace with God. Like Paul said;
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 5:1)
It has nothing to do with what i done. It's about what Christ has done.
And like Paul said next in Philipians 3:8;
8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ
Everything i had done are rubbish compare to the knowing of my Lord Jesus.
But i also remember that i still sensed a burden of displeasing the Lord each time i did something wrong. Many times i woke up after midnight, rushed to open my bible to read yesterday's passage because i was afraid that i will be punished of not reading the bible routinely. I still believe that the salvation is forever mine through Jesus's blood, but He would still punish me for each of my wrongdoings.
Years after that, i found myself still serving Him, still enjoying the relationship with the Creator, and within myself, but inside me, i developed a sense of pride. Like what Paul's said in Phil 3:5
4 though I myself have reasons for such confidence. If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.
My version would be: I received Jesus since very young, i never touched dirty stuffs, i was a virgin when i married, i brought people to Jesus since Highschool, i served the Lord throughout my college years. I arranged many revivals, i became a leader in my faculty, i knew this i knew that... and blablablah... I was proud for what i consider my righteousness. My obidience. My works. My faultless past and youth.
I never regretted those years of my life, it was definitely good times. But the thing is, i stole much of the glory that belongs to Jesus as my own glory and achievement. The focus was on "me doing right things for the Lord" instead of focusing on "what Jesus done for me" brought me into a new state of my life. At the time when our prayer for a child has not been answered, i felt bitter. I was mad. I was confused.
I tought i did all what's right. I don't know what held those blessings from my life? I keep repeating the question, "Why God? Why after all these times i served You?. Didn't You remember that?".
I began to think that i had a sin or did something so bad that must be punished by God. I still believed strongly that i'm saved, but the punishment for my sin is still on. Especially when i get intouch to the teachings about curse, deliverance, generational curse etc. My fear went to the rooftop. Is it because of my sins? Or my parent's sins? Or my grand grand grand parent's? But if there were such things, why couldn't God protect me from all that? Is He the one who has all the power? I found myself more aware of sins and devil's power than Christ's finished work at the cross.
Then i miscarriaged our baby, the days after the event, i went living my life as a convicted person. He's gotta be punishing me for something or else i wouldn't be going through this thing. How could it be? A person who know Jesus, serves Him throughout her life feels like living in a constant torment of punishment from God?
How foolish i was!!!
After all these times studying bible, serving Him and knowing Him, i was failed to understand the basic Truth.
Christ has been my redeemer, and i'm saved forever. Christ has bore ALL my sins on the cross so that i'm free from every punishment of my sin. My past and future sins are FORGIVEN forever by His death on the cross, and His ressurection bring my everlasting RIGTEOUSNESS in front of our Heavenly Father. It's not by what i've done, it's what His Done.
So what was that about me did something wrong and God would punish me? If i claim that as a truth, that i'd say the blood of Christ was NOT ENOUGH to redeemed me. I knew Jesus is the beloved Son of God, and His death on the cross was so highly praised by God. And the reason that He gave His only Son is because He so loved me (John 3:16).
The cross of Jesus brings no condemnation for me (Romans 6:1). Whatever i did wrong, all has been paid, even overpaid by Christ on the cross. Since i've been redeemed, forgiven, justified by my faith through Christ Jesus that means i have peace with God. Like Paul said;
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 5:1)
It has nothing to do with what i done. It's about what Christ has done.
And like Paul said next in Philipians 3:8;
8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ
Everything i had done are rubbish compare to the knowing of my Lord Jesus.
I'm saved, forgiven, deeply favored and blessed by God because of what Jesus did in the cross qualified me. The moment i realize the truth about His Grace, all the bitterness i felt disappeared.
Now i understand why Paul's prayer for the church of Ephesians was for them to know more of Jesus's love for them.
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:16:19)
I never regretted what i've done to the Lord in my past years. I regretted every wrong motives i had back then. I'm sure there were many times i obey Him because I love Him, but i admit that many times i was driven by the fear of punishments, the yearning to be acknowledged by others, the feeling of self righteousnes
Those motives are all behind me now.
My one and only yearning right now is to know His love for me, for i'm sure that His love would drive me to love Him and love others more. To hate sin and avoid bad things easier.
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