FORGIVEN

This week has been a tough one. I received many hurtful statements from friends eventhough maybe they didn't really mean it.

Usually, my reaction when somebody hurt my feelings is angry. And then i realized that as a Christian i shouldn't be angry, i should've forgiven them. But most of the time i couldn't. It's not easy to forgive when you're angry. Knowing that i should, but i couldn't, brings a feeling of condemnation in my heart. I'm afraid God's angry of me failing to forgive. Then i'd be more upset, and angrier, because i think those people made me sin, thus made God angry at me.

Today i practice a new thing. Whenever i remember their hurtful statements or whatever, i said to myself, "I am forgiven". I keep saying that to myself over and over again. I don't bother whether i should or couldn't forgive them, i just wanted to remind myself that in Christ, i am indeed forgiven.

Whenever the devil tried to trick me with his lies, such as "They said that to hurt your feeling, and bla bla ..." I screamed in my heart, "I AM FORGIVEN". The devil can not use his utmost condemnation to me, "God is upset with you rigth now". The blood of Jesus destroyed every weapons the devil has. He couldn't attack my relationship with God. In Christ i'm at peace with Father God.

Because I am Forgiven.

Each time i repeat the sentence to myself, the anger melts.

I am forgiven.

Usually, everytime i feel this way i would refuse to pray and went to bed right away without praying. Afraid of God's judgement.

Right now, i rushed into Him and read His word. I pour down everything i felt inside through prayers. Without guilt. Without hesitation.

I am forgiven.