Precious in His Heart, Perfect in His Sight

How many times do you attend church and go home with a feeling of you're just... not good enough for God. Not enough fasting, not enough praying, not enough serving, not enough of everything.

Well, that's not what i felt when i walked out of the door of New Creation Church in Singapore. The two hours the preacher had (ps. Lian), she used to convince me how much God's love me. How willingly He accept me for what i am. The verses used that day was from Rome 8, started with one of my favorite verse with ,

"Now there is, therefore no condemnation for whoever in Christ Jesus".

Ps Lian then explain verse by verse about the importance of knowing that God do not ever condemn us with our sin. The it went to another verse which is also my favorite,

And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. 31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Isn't it beautiful? God is for me.

Ps Lian also said that whenever we found ourselves condemning other people, then we should ask ourselves whether we already knew exactly, by heart, that God accepts us for who we are. He doesn't care about our shortcomings, our dark pasts, our failures. If we already aware of his unconditional acceptance, surely it wouldn't be hard to accept others just as they are.

During the church anouncements, i read something written in one of the church's event.

Precious in His heart, perfect in His sight.

The sentence touches my heart deeply. It's true that i'm precious. So precious that He let His beloved Son to come to earth and died for me. It also true that i'm perfect in His sight. Because of Jesus blood, now i have the privilegde to be the righteousness of God. Therefor, He sees me perfect.

I walked out the church with a spirit of joy and thanksgiving. My heart was so fulfilled of God's love that i had a yearned to go to some stage, grab the mike and tell people about my Jesus.

Yes. That radical. Of course i didn't do it, but i wanted to.

The preacher mention nothing about evangelism, nor how we ought to serve God that kind of thing. I only her hear tell me about God's love, and that made me, and i'm sure everyone who heard the sermon went out having the urge to evangelize.

Hannah's Prayer

A friend once asked me whether in my quest of infertility i had prayed like Hannah? She said bluntly, "Have you screamed and shout like Hannah?".

Sometime people are soooo funny.

At that time i had already married for 4 years, of course i did. I shouted, i screamed, i prayed, i cried, i cried in my pray.

While i knew that she meant all well, she wasn't quite exactly right in determining the cause of Hannah's answered prayer. She thought it's the scream and the shout. In Samuel Chapter 1 said:

Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk.

Hannah prayed so intensely that Eli thought she was drunk. Even so, those intensity was not the reason why she got hers answered. Let's look at the next verses:

17 Eli answered, "Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him." 18 She said, "May your servant find favor in your eyes." Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.

Eli said "May the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of", in other words, "Hey i hope God answered you prayer". There's no exact confirmation. But Hannah went her way, end her fasting and her mood change to joy.

I don't think Hannah's prayer got answered because of her drunk-praying attitude. But because she believe that what she asked for in her prayer will come to past. She knew God had answered and the answer is a big bold YES. That's why she stopped grieving. Soon after that, Hannah conceived Samuel.

I would say Hannah used the key of answered prayer like Jesus thought us in Mathew 21:22:

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." (NIV)

Mark 11:24 put it more clearly:

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Jesus said that WHATEVER,... well i believe when He said whatever means whatever. Then He said, if we believe that we HAVE RECEIVED it, then it'll be ours. The sole pre-requisite is to believe that the answer is YES, to have faith that God has give it to us and it'll be done by God.

I guess that's what Hannah did. She believed that she has received it by faith, then Samuel came.

Just Don't Have Enough Faith?

Though since i receive this Grace revelation from God i had so many things in my mind that i'd wanted to pour out, i didn't quite manage to always write it on my blog. Anyhow, today i want to talk about Faith.

There's so many occasion where i'd think , "If only i had more faith, surely my restoration would come sooner".
Or maybe just a glimpse of thought , "What should i do to achieve more and more faith? Should i read bible more? Or increase my prayer time?".

While it's not wrong to read more of bible and to pray to God those actions put the responsibilities of increasing faith in our human effort. This is not what the bible said. In Hebrew 12:2 it is said:

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

It is Jesus who in first place put faith in our heart, and it is His job to make it perfect. Wow. What a relief isn't it? Puting our trust on our own effort brings doubt and fear, but knowing that Jesus is the One who's taking care of our faith, we surely know that He wouldn't fail.

In Indonesian Bible it is written:

Marilah kita melakukannya dengan mata yang tertuju kepada Yesus, yang memimpin kita dalam iman, dan yang membawa iman kita itu kepada kesempurnaan, yang dengan mengabaikan kehinaan tekun memikul salib ganti sukacita yang disediakan bagi Dia, yang sekarang duduk di sebelah kanan takhta Allah.

I like the NIV's translation more because it use a noun which are "author" and "perfecter" while in Indonesian they put an adjective "yang memimpin kita dalam iman" and "yang membawa iman kita itu kepada kesempurnaan". Somehow it felt stronger in my heart knowing Jesus as author and perfecter of my own faith.

I knew now that i'd always have "enough faith to move mountains" because Jesus is the author and the perfecter of my faith.

We Finnaly Made It!

Yes, it's been our long time dream to experience sunday service at New Creation Church, where pastor Joseph Prince is preaching. First time we planned to go to Singapore, already bought the unrefundable ticket and stuffs was failed because i was hospitalized due to dengue fever. Hiks!

But last week we did it!!!

The one thing that didn't go with the plan was ps. Prince didn't preach that sunday. I already checked even double triple checked their website and it said that he will preach the whole month. But it turned out that ps Prince went on holiday with his family and one of his pastor, ps. Lian who'd preach the sunday service. At first i was a little dissapointed, until i hear her explaining the bible, and... awesome.... The message was just as powerful and great. I'd love to hear her preach more.

Anyway the whole experience was amazing.
We came 15 minutes early for the service and the auditorium has already been full we had to go to the overflow rooms at Ang Weh Cinema. I was amazed of the vibrant and eagerness of people who wants the hear God's Word. When we got there there were already people queu for the next service which was 2,5 hours later. I mean, really, don't ever think of queuing, in my church back there in Paris, there were thousands of church's seat but only few people. By few i mean less that 15 people including children.

The worship was simple yet beautiful. We sang 3 or 4 songs. The band was not too loud -as in some charismatic church i've been-, and the song were not all too happy-clappy version. Most of them were the slow and soft tune songs. Before the sermon, there was communion, which led by a young pastor. He led by saying all things written in the bible about what communion is, but he said it with his heart, stressing on what Jesus has done for us and how much He loved us. Nobody, even the pastor himself could succesfuly hold their tears.

The sermon's message touched my heart deeply. I'll explain in my next post.

How To Improve Your Prayer Life

I've lost count of how many seminars, small groups, meetings, and camps I've joined to improve my prayer life. Mostly, the preachers would encourage us to make a certain target, dedicate a certain hour for our "prayer time", teach us the "five levels" to improve our prayer time etc.

None worked for me.

I always ended up failing all my commitments, dedication or whatever. The disappointment of failing brings guilty feeling, which then made me uneasy every time i pray.

Now i realized that the answer is simple. My life with Jesus is a relationship, and it's impossible to have my relationship into rigid system.

For example, when we first started our relationship, me and my husband did not set a certain hour to talk, or to set how many days we should meet in order to work our relationship. We just met every time the conditions allowed us to, we talked for hours when we wanted to, and all were driven by one motive: Love. The desire to communicate and relate with the one we love.

I realized there's no such thing as having a dedicated prayer time.
Prayer means you communicate with your God, because you love Him. And you love Him because He first loves you.

And it could be like anytime, anywhere, no religious standard on how to start or which word you'd say.

It's a daughter talking to Her Loving Dad.

And it's important to know where i stand in front of God's eyes. If i still believe that God would reject me and punish me each time i do something wrong, it's hard to keep on praying. But now i believe firmly in what the Bible said, that Jesus has bore all my sins that's why Father God always sees me righteous, holy and forgiven (Heb10:10).

Rest

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Mat 11:28)

9 There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; 10 for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. (Hebrews 4:9-10)

How joyfull it is to be in His rest. Free of worrying of sins and of our performance before God and men. I know i'm free because Christ Jesus had been the perfect redeemer, thus i rest on His perfect obidience and holiness before God. As He is in this world, so am I this world. God's beloved.

Rest is living a simple life.

Rest is enjoying each small things you'd miss 'cause of worrying. You'd start noticing that life's full of beautiful things.

Rest is fearless. Not afraid of bad news, world's economic, petrol price, etc.

Rest is stop thinking about money. And the result is: seeing God provides!

Rest is finding yourself laugh more and smile easily.

Rest is entering God's presence with no more boundaries. You'd find yourself praying, talking to God like almost everytime.

Rest is enjoying each moment at its best.

We were at Carrefour just 2 hours ago, getting our daily shopping. I seperated with hub because i wanted to buy some chicken. He called a few minutes later, saying "Hawwwohh" and ask my whereabouts. And i laughed like crazy. He's such a clown!

Dream

I had a dream last night. The kind of dream that was so vivid you'd thought it's real.

Well, i admit, many times i wondered, and perhaps maybe "wished" that me and husband "did it" before we were married.
The reason? Of course, due to the pattern i see around me that EACH and EVERY person i knew who did it before marriage, who weren't a virgin when they vowed their marriage vowed, ALL of them conceived children easily.
I know, i know. It's wrong to wished doing sin in order to get what you want. But, still i'm a human.

I mean, which was the easiest path? Would you chose countless and painful tests, countless doctor rendezvous, the agony of infertility, or doing something fun with your boy/girlfriend?

Anyway, last night in my dream, i told someone - a friend maybe- that me and my boyfriend, we did it before marriage. I remember the feeling i had. It's mixed feeling between guilt, shame, pain, and the thought that it's just isn't worthed. In that dream i felt terribly guilty. The worst kind of guilt i've ever had.

Then i woke up.

I almost cried instantly when i realize that it's only a dream. I repented right away. I said, "No God, i don't want to change my past. The biggest part of my past is Your abundant grace. I'm so glad we kept our virginity before we were married. The fun was just isn't worthed at all. The greatest making love is inside marriage bond. Thankyou Lord."

Btw, no condemnation for whoever did it, thus believing that Jesus has paid that sin in the cross. God's grace is more than enough, we're on the same path. The righteous of God, by faith to Christ Jesus.