I've lost count of how many seminars, small groups, meetings, and camps I've joined to improve my prayer life. Mostly, the preachers would encourage us to make a certain target, dedicate a certain hour for our "prayer time", teach us the "five levels" to improve our prayer time etc.
None worked for me.
I always ended up failing all my commitments, dedication or whatever. The disappointment of failing brings guilty feeling, which then made me uneasy every time i pray.
Now i realized that the answer is simple. My life with Jesus is a relationship, and it's impossible to have my relationship into rigid system.
For example, when we first started our relationship, me and my husband did not set a certain hour to talk, or to set how many days we should meet in order to work our relationship. We just met every time the conditions allowed us to, we talked for hours when we wanted to, and all were driven by one motive: Love. The desire to communicate and relate with the one we love.
I realized there's no such thing as having a dedicated prayer time.
Prayer means you communicate with your God, because you love Him. And you love Him because He first loves you.
And it could be like anytime, anywhere, no religious standard on how to start or which word you'd say.
It's a daughter talking to Her Loving Dad.
And it's important to know where i stand in front of God's eyes. If i still believe that God would reject me and punish me each time i do something wrong, it's hard to keep on praying. But now i believe firmly in what the Bible said, that Jesus has bore all my sins that's why Father God always sees me righteous, holy and forgiven (Heb10:10).
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