Romans 5:5

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

This verse is beautiful! And notice that it's Romans 5 verse 5, double the number of Grace!

Just reading it lifted up my spirit.

Love=Faith=Healed

It's been a week that i noticed i got a strange headache. Not like usual headaches eventhough i rarely had them. This was a pain that came from somewhere underneath my left ear. Sometimes the pain occur with such intensity that i screamed, "Ouch, what was that?". I thought maybe it was some pain related from my recent tooth surgery, but i didn't know for sure. Anyway, i prayed many times to command the pain to leave. I spoke verses that promising healing, but unfortuneately the headache was still there.

This afternoon, while driving to my parents house Holy Spirit impressed me to worship the Lord. So i sang eventough the tape was not on. I sang random songs, and ended up singing "Jesus i believe in You, Jesus i belong to You. You are the reason i believe the reason that i sing... with all my heart".

Singing the song, i sensed such joy and peace and... love from Jesus. I cried while my mouth still sing the song. My tears flowed on my cheeks, and i knew this is not a self-pity-fear-of-punishment-cry i once experienced before i knew the truth about His grace. This was a cry that came from a grateful heart, know that i'm loved so deeply by my Creator.

I began worshipping Him. Thanking Him for what He has done in calvary. Thanking Him that He died so i could live. Thanking Him that by His blood i'm free from punishment, free from any curse, free from condemnations. Thanking Him that by His stripes i am healed. Thanking Him for wanting me to be happy, healthy and fruitful. Thanking Him that by His sacrifice i am called to be God's daughter.

I arrived at my parent's home 20 minutes later, and realized a relief in my head. Up till now 5 hours later, i'm still free from headache. Praise Lord Jesus!

I realized that the Holy Spirit taught me something important today. Miracles and healings come through faith. But faith must be activated by love, God's love. Like Joseph Prince once said, "Faith is the confidence of how much God's love us". When we realize how much He loves us, it automatically increases our faith, and by having an increased faith it creates a channel (or some said "bridge") for the manifestation of miracle and healing.

Our focus shouldn't be on the manifestation of healing, but to believe in His love. If that happen, surely healing will be manifested. In my personal opinion it is not just by claiming, screaming verses or using our authority to get rid of the symptoms. Of course we could use verses, commanding sickness to go and using our authority by having a king-priest position in Christ. but we should be careful because these activities could easily turn into some sort of "work" which lead us into "performance mentality".

God's style is always simpler and easier. Just believe.

Believe that He is a good and loving God.

Searching for A Graceful Church

According to the New Testament, the church is not a building. Neither is it a denomination, a religious service, nor a non-denominational organization. The church is a living organism. It is simply this: A community of people who possess the life of God’s Kingdom and who express it together.

(Quoted from Reimagining Church by Frank Viola)

Almost 2 years has passed since we moved here from France, yet we haven't joined any church. Of course sunday mornings were spent on a building called "church" but with no conversations afterwards among other brothers and sisters after the service, let alone helping and supporting each other just like the early church did.

Arrghhh.... how i long for a community of believers, who accepted each other as they are. Who practicing signs and wonders and supporting each other to tell people that the Kingdom of God is at hand. Who know each other well and love each other with the love of Christ.

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

WOW.

James 4:6 and 1 Peter 5:5. This sentence was quoted two times or more in the Bible. I guessed it is quite important.

This verse is amazingly timely for me.

Continue from my previous post, now i'm starting like a new believer. I want to put behind the fact that i've accepted Jesus as my Savior since i was 15, and serving Him since. I put aside all the theories and theologies which shaped my frame of thoughts.

I have nothing to be proud of in front of men and You.

Now i want to learn from the beginning.

Of Your grace and mercy.

Of Your salvation, healing and prosperity.

Of Your rest.

Of Your power and works of wonders.

Lord, i don't want to be the judge anymore. I used to look behind and seeing the evidence when i thought You didn't care, and trying to make sense all of it with what people said about Your love. I am nothing compare to Your wisdom. Perhaps i know not now, but maybe someday You'd show me Your grand plan in my life. One day i'd look back and see that You work everything into good.

As John Gill's commentary for James 4:6:

but he giveth more grace to the humble

who are sensible of their own vileness and meanness, and acknowledge it; who think the meanest of themselves, and the best of others; and do not envy the gifts and graces of God bestowed upon others, but rejoice at them; and ascribe all they have, and are, to the free grace of God; and ingenuously confess the deficiency of their duties, and the insufficiency of their righteousness to justify them before God; and that when they have done all they can, or are assisted to do, they are but unprofitable servants: now to these God gives grace; he not only gives grace at first, to make them humble, but he gives them more grace, or increases what he gives: grace is God's gift; he gives all the grace that is in Christ, and all the blessings of grace that are in the covenant, and all the grace that is in the hearts of his people; as faith, hope, love, repentance, humility, patience, self-denial, resignation to his will, and every degree of spiritual knowledge; and grace is only his gift; men cannot give it to themselves, nor can the best of men give it to others; not godly parents to their children; nor ministers to those to whom they preach; no, nor the angels in heaven; nor is it to be obtained by the works of men: it is a free gift; it is given of the sovereign will and good pleasure of God, to whom, and when, and in what measure he pleases; to which he is not induced by any motives in men, for they have nothing in them to move him to it; and it is given by him absolutely, without conditions, not suspending it till the performance of them; and he gives it cheerfully and not grudgingly, largely, bountifully, and in great abundance.

Simply a Beginner

Last week i wasn't really well. Not sick or whatever, just a bit gloomy. Hubby's leaving town to work, and i'm alone. I keep listening to Curry Blake's DHT files every night but i can not push my self to read daily devotional from Joseph Prince. Each of ps Prince's sermons describe the goodness of God and at that time i just couldn't picture Him as a kind God.

I saw a photograph of a newly born son of a friend. It's her second child. She has infertility problems but manage to deliver 2 healthy babies.

I realize that most of my friends who had infertility issues have already had children right now.

I remember the moment i miscarried two years ago. It's almost impossible to relate that God is kind but He also allowed me to experience the tragedy of loosing a child. Maybe part of it was my fault, because i didn't know that it is not God's will for people to miscarry. Thus, i didn't have the faith to confess or claim whatsoever. But i wished God would've told me the truth before.

I felt condemned.

I lost my peace and joy, and even had sleeping problems.

But today, while watching TV, the Holy Spirit speak through my conscience. He said, "Be a student, learn everything from the basics".

I felt sudden peace. I realized that all this time i over analyze everything. I put God into my system of thinking, about justice, kindness and love. When i found that God violates the system in my head, i blamed Him.

This morning i said to God, "I'm a student now Papa. Let me learn Your love, show how it works in my life. I don't want to judge You, i don't want to blame You for anything from now on. I just want to learn. Please reveal to me everything that i need to know about You. "

I'm the student and He is the teacher.

The Best Description

I quote this from Steve McVey:

Life in Christ is certainly not a passive lifestyle but neither is it a lifestyle of religious hyperactivity either. It doesn't have to be one or the other. Resting in Him means that we live our lives knowing that He holds us safely in His arms and that His loving embrace carries us through every situation we face in life. Sometimes our lifestyles will involve external activity and at other times it will involve outward inactivity, but at all times we are enjoying His divine hug.

The Prayer

A couple of days ago I was feeling down because I sensed that my period is coming. Also, there were additional causes, another pre-birth anouncement from relative, people i met who accused me of not working hard enough to have a baby, etc etc etc.

I was not feeling right. I knew i should reach out to His grace. I knew that i should guard my heart, not to worry and keep my peace as the only thing God told me to do. But sometimes it's plain hard. My best friend a.k.a hubby was at work and he seemed to lost idea of how to cheer me.

So he prayed.

At first, I felt a bit reluctant. I was angry. But i listened to everything that he said to God. Not to long after that I sensed something different. It's like a flood of peace and joy came rushing from heaven above upon us. I felt like God was hugging us both, He didn't seem to be troubled with the fact me and hubby on different island. I felt the three of us, me, Him and my husband were on the same spot together.

After praying, hubby asked, "Do you feel it?" . "Yes" I said with tears on my cheek.

We trust by faith, not by feelings. But now I knew that God doesn't mind reaching out to us. Making known of His presence. Telling us directly how much He loves us.

With the peace and joy back on track, I found that guarding my heart becoming an easy task. I'm glad God moves when we need His help.