The Prayer

A couple of days ago I was feeling down because I sensed that my period is coming. Also, there were additional causes, another pre-birth anouncement from relative, people i met who accused me of not working hard enough to have a baby, etc etc etc.

I was not feeling right. I knew i should reach out to His grace. I knew that i should guard my heart, not to worry and keep my peace as the only thing God told me to do. But sometimes it's plain hard. My best friend a.k.a hubby was at work and he seemed to lost idea of how to cheer me.

So he prayed.

At first, I felt a bit reluctant. I was angry. But i listened to everything that he said to God. Not to long after that I sensed something different. It's like a flood of peace and joy came rushing from heaven above upon us. I felt like God was hugging us both, He didn't seem to be troubled with the fact me and hubby on different island. I felt the three of us, me, Him and my husband were on the same spot together.

After praying, hubby asked, "Do you feel it?" . "Yes" I said with tears on my cheek.

We trust by faith, not by feelings. But now I knew that God doesn't mind reaching out to us. Making known of His presence. Telling us directly how much He loves us.

With the peace and joy back on track, I found that guarding my heart becoming an easy task. I'm glad God moves when we need His help.

The Kingdom of God

Is righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. (Romans 14:17)

Is not in word but in power. (1 Corinthians 4:20)

Is within us (Luke 17:21)

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)

Teaching, Preaching, Healing

Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. (Matthew 9:35).

He sent them to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. (Luke 9:2)

But when the multitudes knew it, they followed Him; and He received them and spoke to them about the kingdom of God, and healed those who had need of healing. (Luke 9:11)

And heal the sick there, and say to them, 'The kingdom of God has come near to you. (Luke10:9)

It seems that teaching, preaching and healing was one complete package in Jesus' Ministry. Notice also that almost everytime the bible mention the kingdom of God were being preached, the sick also being healed. Hallelujah!

What War Are You In?

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. (2 Corinthians 10:4)

Whatever that is, know that you have the most effective weapons that have divine power...

His Answer

I was driving my car this morning. Feeling a little gloomy due to recent circumstances that happen in my life. I speak to the Lord, "There apparently nothing's change in my life between now and two years ago. While everyone's having the answer of their prayer, my situation hasn't changed."

Then i heard Him asnwered me in my heart: "Maybe you could not see the differences, but from my eyes, I see your life changed so much these past two years".

I realized He was right.

Our circumstances might not changed from outside. But my relationship with Jesus has changed so dramatically this past years. I would never want to go back to the kind of relationship i had with Him back then.

So many things has changed in my life. My worries, fears and anxieties were gone. I found myself less judgmental towards people. I enjoy life easily, no matter what happen in my life. I couldn't say my prayer time is improving because now i don't have "prayer time", i just talk to Father God all day. I couldn't also said my "quite time" is more routinely done because i don't have a routine quite time. But i listen to sermon CDs every time i had the chance and open my bible anytime throughout the day.

I think of Jesus and talk to Him throughout the day.

He is right. My life is changed.

I'm falling back to Grace.

The Name

Last night, 6 June 2010 a preacher prayed for us and she said that we're having a boy and we should name him "Samuel".

So, it's gonna be Arturo Samuel Victor Simanjutak.

A bit long huh? I hope it's gonna fit in his passport, ehehe...

He Collects My Tears

8 You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book? (Psalms 56:8)

I found out about this verse when i read "The Shack" (a very good Christian book, if you're not a legalist ;p). It tells that a spritely young Asian woman dances around Mack, collecting his tears with a brush and introduces herself as Sarayu, personification of the Holy Spirit. Mack's life was almost destroyed when he lost his youngest daughter, Missy who was murdered by a stranger.

Truthfully, even though the book was fictional, i found many of its ideas are biblical resonates deeply with my own spiritual journey. So when i read about this Sarayu collects tears, i rushed to my bible to find the verse and found it in Psalms 56.

Just like Mack in The Shack, i too lost a daughter, and spent many times crying almost each time i remembered her. But this is the first time i realize that God really hears me crying. He even collects all my tears.

I imagine, someday, one cool day in heaven, Papa would show me a barn of which my name is written on its door. Inside, i will find many bottles with water. Perhaps i'll tell Him,

"Nice hobby, Papa"

And He would answer, "Yes of course. These are my precious collection. Your tears".

"Why would you do that?" I ask Him.

Papa replied, "Because those tears are precious to me. Each tear that i collect from your face, reminds me of the restoration I planned for you".

"I thought those were my loneliest time."

"I was always there with you", said Papa.

"With your bottles?"

"Yes with my bottles".

I looked around the barn and found the walls are covered with numbers.

"What are they?" I asked.

"What? Those numbers?", said Jesus.

"Yup"

"Oh, those are my other hobbies. Numbered your hair. I do it everyday, since each day your hair's number is changing" (Matthew 10)

For everyone who didn't read The Shack, i strongly recomend to purchase the book. You'll meet Mack, Papa, Sarayu, Jesus and the closeness between them described in this book is transforming.